Wednesday, February 01, 2006
All it Takes is a Little Black Dress
Men are visual creatures. I’m aware of this. Just like I’m aware of music playing at Starbucks when I’m writing. In both instances, this awareness hums along slightly below my consciousness — until something jolts it to the forefront. Like today, when the barista cranked the music up two notches higher than usual. Or when, hours later, Gary walked in, looked at me, then did a double-take.
I'd met Gary in December at a singles ‘networking’ function. I’d bought a little black dress for the occasion — my first step in implementing New Year’s Resolution #3: Get in Touch With My Inner-Diva. It was clingy and sexy, yet classy and sophisticated. I felt like Cinderella. And my many Prince Charmings stepped forward to slip me business cards, instead of slippers.
Gary was one of them.
Two weeks later, I attended a party at a friend’s house wearing the same little black dress. Same Cinderella experience, though on a smaller scale. Gary showed up. (Aren’t the odds of running into the same guy, in the same dress, in a person’s house similar to those of finding a $1 million lottery ticket stuck to the bottom of your shoe?!). He pressed another business card into the palm of my hand.
Today, I was sitting at Starbucks, in my working attire — baggy army fatigue-like pants and a shapeless fleece sweatshirt. Glasses. No makeup. Bed-head hair — the matted, lopsided kind. While pondering deep thoughts, such as why, at page 156, my heroine and hero in my erotic romance still had not managed to have sex, I looked up from my computer. And there was Gary, standing between the whole milk and half-and-half canisters.
“Hi,” I mouthed.
He did a double-take before returning my greeting, and then walked over.
I laughed. “Yeah, I know. I look different.”
He smiled. “Yeah.”
“I bet if you’d seen me like this — no makeup, glasses, messy hair — you wouldn’t have invited me out to dinner.”
He shook his head. “No. I still would have asked you to dinner. But only if you were wearing that dress. That black dress.”
I didn't know whether to feel complimented or insulted.
Is that really all it takes? Are men really that ... basic? I wish I were bold enough to find out. To not comb my hair. Not shave my armpits. Wear my oldest, most outdated glasses. And don my little black dress.
You really think Prince Charming would be standing by to take me out?
I'd met Gary in December at a singles ‘networking’ function. I’d bought a little black dress for the occasion — my first step in implementing New Year’s Resolution #3: Get in Touch With My Inner-Diva. It was clingy and sexy, yet classy and sophisticated. I felt like Cinderella. And my many Prince Charmings stepped forward to slip me business cards, instead of slippers.
Gary was one of them.
Two weeks later, I attended a party at a friend’s house wearing the same little black dress. Same Cinderella experience, though on a smaller scale. Gary showed up. (Aren’t the odds of running into the same guy, in the same dress, in a person’s house similar to those of finding a $1 million lottery ticket stuck to the bottom of your shoe?!). He pressed another business card into the palm of my hand.
Today, I was sitting at Starbucks, in my working attire — baggy army fatigue-like pants and a shapeless fleece sweatshirt. Glasses. No makeup. Bed-head hair — the matted, lopsided kind. While pondering deep thoughts, such as why, at page 156, my heroine and hero in my erotic romance still had not managed to have sex, I looked up from my computer. And there was Gary, standing between the whole milk and half-and-half canisters.
“Hi,” I mouthed.
He did a double-take before returning my greeting, and then walked over.
I laughed. “Yeah, I know. I look different.”
He smiled. “Yeah.”
“I bet if you’d seen me like this — no makeup, glasses, messy hair — you wouldn’t have invited me out to dinner.”
He shook his head. “No. I still would have asked you to dinner. But only if you were wearing that dress. That black dress.”
I didn't know whether to feel complimented or insulted.
Is that really all it takes? Are men really that ... basic? I wish I were bold enough to find out. To not comb my hair. Not shave my armpits. Wear my oldest, most outdated glasses. And don my little black dress.
You really think Prince Charming would be standing by to take me out?
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I love this post, and you're so right! I was at an RT conference about five years ago, and wore a "little black dress" to one of the events. Added fishnet stockings and high heels. Now, I'm a grandmother. No two ways about it. One guy actually propositioned me and another, the husband of another author, still teases me about how hot I looked. I left "hot" behind YEARS ago...so it's got to be the visual of a little black dress...or maybe it's the inherent promise? Hard to say. Wish I could still zip the damned thing!
Rachelle,
Sorry-but gag me with a spoon. I say burn the guy's cards. You should call him and say, "Oh I'd love to go out, but I left that little black dress at my lover's house."
Or something....
Sometimes men suck!
Sorry-but gag me with a spoon. I say burn the guy's cards. You should call him and say, "Oh I'd love to go out, but I left that little black dress at my lover's house."
Or something....
Sometimes men suck!
I once dressed like a hooker for Halloween at work. Normally I'm in jeans and a t-shirt or something equivalent. Glasses, no make-up. I'm a software engineer and I work with a lot of guys.
That day it was lace stockings, a short black skirt, high heels, WAY too much make-up and my hair piled high on my head. No glasses. A red feather boa. It was inspirational.
I couldn't talk to any of the guys because they couldn't stay focused on what I was saying. The eyes would just glaze over and I finally had to resort to calling them rather than going to their cube. I even had one guy ask...SERIOUSLY...if I was married. Uh, yeah.
I never did that again, but it was funny at the time. And I won a copy of Beauty And The Beast in the costume contest.
That day it was lace stockings, a short black skirt, high heels, WAY too much make-up and my hair piled high on my head. No glasses. A red feather boa. It was inspirational.
I couldn't talk to any of the guys because they couldn't stay focused on what I was saying. The eyes would just glaze over and I finally had to resort to calling them rather than going to their cube. I even had one guy ask...SERIOUSLY...if I was married. Uh, yeah.
I never did that again, but it was funny at the time. And I won a copy of Beauty And The Beast in the costume contest.
This brings back so many memories and experiences. I agree, Rachelle -- about how the superficial often influences how people perceive and react to us (and we perceive and react to them?). My hair is naturally mousy brown and very, very curly (now with a healthy intermixing of mousy gray). Years ago, I bought a straight blonde wig. When I wore it one evening, my then brother-in-law couldn't take his bugged out eyes off me. Most of the time, he had no problem pretending I didn't exist.
Jasmine, I don't hate you. In fact, I agree with you. How a guy looks/acts/carries himself/the words he says/etc. are often the first things that catch my eye. After that, he gains or loses points. :-)
But, if we're talking about STRICTLY PHYSICAL appeal from across a room -- like 'Gary' here -- I'm not sure I'd react the same.
I'm more of a 'face' person. If I find a man's face attractive, then I can make some allowances for his physical of stylish imperfections. Conversely, if he has a great body and is dressed perfectly, but I'm not attracted to his face, he's starting at a disadvantage. Only by getting to know him, and discover his other positive traits, will he then become attractive to me.
So, that's why I found 'Gary's' response interesting ...
But, if we're talking about STRICTLY PHYSICAL appeal from across a room -- like 'Gary' here -- I'm not sure I'd react the same.
I'm more of a 'face' person. If I find a man's face attractive, then I can make some allowances for his physical of stylish imperfections. Conversely, if he has a great body and is dressed perfectly, but I'm not attracted to his face, he's starting at a disadvantage. Only by getting to know him, and discover his other positive traits, will he then become attractive to me.
So, that's why I found 'Gary's' response interesting ...
Jasmine, Mardi, Cricket -- other great examples. It's amazing how it takes just the littlest change.
Karin -- your guys are real keepers!
Bella -- ROTFL. That's a great line! I don't think I have the guts to deliver it. Though, one of my heroine's could.
Kate, Jasmine -- I totally agree with you re: the confidence that shines through. One of my dad's often quoted sayings, "if you look good, you feel good," is right on -- and it shows.
Jordan -- LOL.
Karin -- your guys are real keepers!
Bella -- ROTFL. That's a great line! I don't think I have the guts to deliver it. Though, one of my heroine's could.
Kate, Jasmine -- I totally agree with you re: the confidence that shines through. One of my dad's often quoted sayings, "if you look good, you feel good," is right on -- and it shows.
Jordan -- LOL.
Yes, I have to say, IMHO, men are that basic. They think of sex, what 10 times a minute, or is it more...
Okay, but I do have to say, I am also attracted to the package, it's like a good book cover... but then again, if I hate the book, I yell at myself for just buying it for the cover. Ughhh.
Okay, but I do have to say, I am also attracted to the package, it's like a good book cover... but then again, if I hate the book, I yell at myself for just buying it for the cover. Ughhh.
I must be terribly shallow, but I'm married to a man I fell in lust with first. I can still tell you exactly how he looked the first time I saw him in August of 1971, and when I see him now, all these years later, he still looks just as good! That's the joy of growing old together--neither one of us can see a damned thing without our glasses! We both look REAL hot in the bedroom...in the dark...with the glasses on the night stand...
I think it's all about the looks in the beginning--but after that it should be about character. Besides, I think jeans and a T-shirt can look sexy. Look at the plumber on Deperate Housewives. Yum.
Oops. I think I just went basic there.
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Oops. I think I just went basic there.
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