Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Bella goes to Church
Well, not quite...
I can't believe I almost forgot to blog about my brush with the church last month....You see, my Chiropractor is Mormon. Really mormom. Like takes a day a week to counsel the congregation, had the Book of M on both coffee tables in the waiting room (so annoying...but whatever). When I told him about my books, he was surprisingly cool about it all. Said something to the effect of, "Wow, those sound steamy. I'll have to make sure my wife picks up a copy."
So then, I did an interview with our small town paper about my book. Like usual, the writer asked about people's responses to erotic romance. I told him, honestly, that every single person I've told has been supportive. Even, and I quote, my Mormon Chiro.
Well, can you blame him, the writer loved that and it went into the article. I had a good laugh when I read it, Jami had a good laugh when I read it to her, and then I went in for an appt a week later.
Mr. Chiro opens with, "You got me into a little hot water last week," and me being me, I'm all like (see I am a born and bred Cali girl--I say "all like" in regular conversation!), "Huh?"
Turns out The Mormon Church called him. (Had to put it in italics because I'm not really sure what that means. But I'm thinking it's not good.) Hunted him down, actually. Went through every Mormon chiro in our town (how many are there you might ask? evidently lots...) and asked if I was their patient until they narrowed it down to him.
He fessed up. Hadn't read the article. Had it read to him in firey tones from the pulpit. Trouble ensued. Backpedaling on his part. Burning at the stake, or something like that...
Still, I think he should have come to my booksigning like he'd promised, don't you think?
;-) Bella Andre
http://www.BellaAndre.com
I can't believe I almost forgot to blog about my brush with the church last month....You see, my Chiropractor is Mormon. Really mormom. Like takes a day a week to counsel the congregation, had the Book of M on both coffee tables in the waiting room (so annoying...but whatever). When I told him about my books, he was surprisingly cool about it all. Said something to the effect of, "Wow, those sound steamy. I'll have to make sure my wife picks up a copy."
So then, I did an interview with our small town paper about my book. Like usual, the writer asked about people's responses to erotic romance. I told him, honestly, that every single person I've told has been supportive. Even, and I quote, my Mormon Chiro.
Well, can you blame him, the writer loved that and it went into the article. I had a good laugh when I read it, Jami had a good laugh when I read it to her, and then I went in for an appt a week later.
Mr. Chiro opens with, "You got me into a little hot water last week," and me being me, I'm all like (see I am a born and bred Cali girl--I say "all like" in regular conversation!), "Huh?"
Turns out The Mormon Church called him. (Had to put it in italics because I'm not really sure what that means. But I'm thinking it's not good.) Hunted him down, actually. Went through every Mormon chiro in our town (how many are there you might ask? evidently lots...) and asked if I was their patient until they narrowed it down to him.
He fessed up. Hadn't read the article. Had it read to him in firey tones from the pulpit. Trouble ensued. Backpedaling on his part. Burning at the stake, or something like that...
Still, I think he should have come to my booksigning like he'd promised, don't you think?
;-) Bella Andre
http://www.BellaAndre.com
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Oh my...is it confession time? The last time I went to church was in 1985 when I took our daughter and we attended the only church in the small town we'd just moved to in the California Sierras...the minister was talking about a "woman's place" and how she should put her own desires aside to support her husband, and a good woman worked at home, not in an office. I looked at Sarah, she looked at me (eyes wide at the negation of EVERYTHING her father and I taught her--she was about 13) and we walked out of the church in the middle of the sermon. In my mind, that was a better lesson for our daughter than what she was hearing from the pulpit.
Confession time? My last time in church was for my Confirmation.
TANGENT 1: Those of you unfamiliar with the holy Roman Catholic Church might not recognize the significance of Confirmation. It's the sacrament where young people affirm their intention to follow the Roman Catholic religion for the rest of their lives. Very similar to the bar mitzvah.
Anyway, I was very old to be receiving Confirmation -- 16 years old, in fact. My mother, the last of the Red Hot Roman Catholics, was embarrassed that I, her youngest of five children, still hadn't been confirmed. I kept putting it off because I didn't have much faith in the church's teachings, and I thought it would be hypocritical to affirm my faith in a religion I had no faith in. (TANGENT 2: wow, I'd like to see my sixth grade grammar teacher diagram that last sentence).
So my mother made a deal with me. If I'd get confirmed, she wouldn't make me go to church on Sunday anymore. So I did it. Went through all of the Confirmation classes -- six months worth -- and stood in front of an archbishop (the men who get to wear the tall red rooster-like hats) and swore my intention to be a good Catholic girl for the rest of my life. That was the last time I was in a church.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention the funny part. Part of Confirmation is that you have to go to Confession. This was in the hip 1970's, and we did confessions "face to face" with the Priest. At one point we got to talking about the church's relevance to the lives of teenagers. I probably did not hide my cynicism very well. At one point the priest asked, "Are you still a virgin?"
What I wish I'd said: "Of course."
What I actually said: "Well, *technically* I am."
I was sure he wasn't going to approve my confirmation. He couldn't tell my parents why (the sanctity of the confessional) so I'd have to make up some story...
Well, to my surprise, he did let me get confirmed. And that was the last time I was in hurch.
TANGENT 1: Those of you unfamiliar with the holy Roman Catholic Church might not recognize the significance of Confirmation. It's the sacrament where young people affirm their intention to follow the Roman Catholic religion for the rest of their lives. Very similar to the bar mitzvah.
Anyway, I was very old to be receiving Confirmation -- 16 years old, in fact. My mother, the last of the Red Hot Roman Catholics, was embarrassed that I, her youngest of five children, still hadn't been confirmed. I kept putting it off because I didn't have much faith in the church's teachings, and I thought it would be hypocritical to affirm my faith in a religion I had no faith in. (TANGENT 2: wow, I'd like to see my sixth grade grammar teacher diagram that last sentence).
So my mother made a deal with me. If I'd get confirmed, she wouldn't make me go to church on Sunday anymore. So I did it. Went through all of the Confirmation classes -- six months worth -- and stood in front of an archbishop (the men who get to wear the tall red rooster-like hats) and swore my intention to be a good Catholic girl for the rest of my life. That was the last time I was in a church.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention the funny part. Part of Confirmation is that you have to go to Confession. This was in the hip 1970's, and we did confessions "face to face" with the Priest. At one point we got to talking about the church's relevance to the lives of teenagers. I probably did not hide my cynicism very well. At one point the priest asked, "Are you still a virgin?"
What I wish I'd said: "Of course."
What I actually said: "Well, *technically* I am."
I was sure he wasn't going to approve my confirmation. He couldn't tell my parents why (the sanctity of the confessional) so I'd have to make up some story...
Well, to my surprise, he did let me get confirmed. And that was the last time I was in hurch.
Somehow it doesn't surprise me that we're a group of lapsed whatevers. My church experience involved Jewish Sunday school - not because I'm jewish, but because my best friend in elementary school was, and I spent almost every Saturday night at her house for all of 5th grade, and a few outings when I visited friends and relatives who were regular church goers.
Doreen - I can just hear you, mouthing off to the priest. Hilarious.
And those Mormons are scary! But here's what I find funny: My husband lost his virginity to a Mormon girl when they were both 16. She was not a virgin. However, she did want him as her future husband, so she did everything in her power to convert him, including siccing the missionaries on him when he went away to college (she went to BYU, natch). I on the other hand repressed late bloomer (never mind the severe lack of religious education) that I was, didn't *technically* lose my virginity until I graduated from college. this is a lesson to us, Bella - it's those kooky repressed religious ones that will get our baby boys in trouble. Mark my words! ;)
Doreen - I can just hear you, mouthing off to the priest. Hilarious.
And those Mormons are scary! But here's what I find funny: My husband lost his virginity to a Mormon girl when they were both 16. She was not a virgin. However, she did want him as her future husband, so she did everything in her power to convert him, including siccing the missionaries on him when he went away to college (she went to BYU, natch). I on the other hand repressed late bloomer (never mind the severe lack of religious education) that I was, didn't *technically* lose my virginity until I graduated from college. this is a lesson to us, Bella - it's those kooky repressed religious ones that will get our baby boys in trouble. Mark my words! ;)
LOL. Those crazy Mormons. They are HUGE control freaks. Can you say sheep? if anyone feels the need to find out more about how I am TRAPPED BY THE MORMONS, feel free to visit my blog. I intend to blog this, and refer people back to it. So funny.
http://www.nataliercollins.com/weblg
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